Dear Reader,
We have come a long way from the days of forced institutionalizations, considering suicide as a crime, and the stigma of seeing a therapist so pervasive that many went without needed treatment and support as they seek recovery from a mental illness.
With that said there are still some myths that if perpetuated make it difficult for us to participate in therapy in a healthy and advantageous way. When I am working with someone, I usually start by addressing several myths in our first session.
Myth 1: Therapy is Comfortable, and the therapist is perfect
Whenever I have my first session with a client I wonder if they are expecting this calm, mild mannered person sitting in a chair with a legal pad and pen nodding their head during sessions. This concerns me because I am not any of those things.
I have no note pad as I want to focus on what my client is saying in real time as opposed of listening so I may fill out a progress note later. I am definitely not mild mannered. Some of my clients have said that I am “spirited.” I do nod my head when I agree but often give feedback and ask direct questions. I am calm though, so I do check one of those boxes.
Each of us is human and part of the human experience is being limited. I will give my clients my best and when my best is not good enough, I seek more training and educate myself as much as possible. I also refer to a colleague who may know more about the topic of concern than myself.
I do misstep with my words and approaches and am open to feedback when these things happen. I also try to catch myself and correct anything I may have done as soon as I realize a mistake has been made.
Myth 2: One is weak for taking medication
Sometimes psychotropic medication is viewed with a stigma of making one week for not being able to pull themselves out of a difficult time. That is similar to shaming oneself for having to take a vitamin every day. Many mental health studies have spoken about the benefit of medication when used as part of therapy. Finding the right medication for you can be done by seeing a qualified person with the privilege to prescribe medication and track changes and safety. As a therapist I can help you understand what the medication is for and comply with treatment as you communicate with your prescriber. Some of my clients who are taking medication find the decision to do so to be empowering.
Myth 3: Addiction may be overcome by love
It can be hard for a family member of someone with and addiction disorder to believe that their loved one genuinely loves them and still does harmful things. If love were enough most people would not be in addiction. Addiction is a disease that no one chooses to have. I do want to be clear that any disease does not give the person with it an out regarding their responsibilities but does mean that fulfilling them may look different depending on circumstances. Each person with an addiction and their loved ones can benefit for discerning what is appropriate for them and their situation since this can be a personal journey to take.
Myth 4: Therapy is like talking to a friend
I have heard people say that therapy is like talking to a good friend which could not be further from the truth. My training, education, and experience make coming to therapy with me more like talking to your car mechanic. My clients come to me and say, “this is not working, and I am hearing x, y, and z what should I do about it?” I will ask several questions and develop a plan that we will work at together to bring about desired changes and results. I do my best to explain what is going on and why I am saying and asking some of the things I am, but it may be difficult to always understand what I am trying to do until we are at the other side. Of course, this is a teamwork situation where we will need to be honest for this to happen.
If there is a mental health myth you would like to ask about, please feel free to send me an email at shyrajoneslpc@gmail.com
Warmly,
Dr. Shyra