Give Life, Your Purpose.
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Meet Melissa!
I am excited to introduce you to Melissa Collins, Life Coach! I have known Melissa for over 30 years and know you will come to enjoy her just as much as I do. With that in mind, let me tell you a little about her and how she can be a valuable resource on your …
Blog: Turning Down the Volume of Emotions
Learning how to place emotions in their proper place is one thing therapy can help with. Emotions are important as they give us information about how we are interacting with our environment making it important to not turn them off. I have heard it said that emotions make awful masters but great servants. Cognitive Behavior …
Forgiveness is Grieving
Experience has shown me how forgiveness follows a similar process as grief. When we think about it is not the need to forgive activated through the loss of something whether it be a dream, safety, trust in another human being, or a belief about how the world works. The grief process as outlined by Elisabeth …
Forgiveness… The Key to Freedom
Since the beginning of the year, I have had many conversations in my personal and professional life about what forgiveness is, why we should forgive, who we should forgive and how do we forgive. What is forgiveness? Forgiveness is the letting go of the hope of having a better past. Often, we think that when …
Virtual Therapy Is Here To Stay
Dear Reader, Good news… it looks as if virtual mental health therapy is here to stay. This can make mental health care easier to receive. That said it is important to get the same care using virtual sessions as is offered by in office visits. When conducting sessions as a therapist I make sure I …
Invitation to Life
Dear Reader, Here is a handout I created for a journaling therapy group I am facilitated using the trademarked program by Kathleen Adams called Journal to the Self®. My participants enjoyed it and I hope you do as well! Warmly, Dr. Shyra ___________________ Sometimes we can get so wrapped in attempting to make it from …
Journal Exercise: Weekly Self Reflection
Dear Reader, Taking time to learn about how you are doing can seem simple and necessary yet many of us do not know where to start. Please find the following handout as a guide to developing a practice to help you become aware of what is going on inside and outside of yourself. Personalize this …
SHYRA SHARES 7: HOPE
Dear Reader, By the time one makes it to see me usually things are so out of control that the person and/or their loved one is so tired of trying to figure things out. There can be a feeling of being disheartened and diminished hope. My heart goes out to anyone who is willing to …
SHYRA SHARES 6: MENTAL HEALTH AND THERAPY MYTHS
Dear Reader, We have come a long way from the days of forced institutionalizations, considering suicide as a crime, and the stigma of seeing a therapist so pervasive that many went without needed treatment and support as they seek recovery from a mental illness. With that said there are still some myths that if perpetuated …
Shyra Shares 5: Medication and Nutrition
Dear Reader, One of my favorite things to say due to its profound truth is that as humans we are instinctively wired for survival. The need for survival means we seek balance and safety by interacting with our environments in a particular way which is seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. Our bodies get in on …
Shyra Shares 4: Diagnosis
Dear Reader, I am going to warn you… radical view ahead! I value my clients and cherish their experiences and believe It can be disempowering to be “labeled” instead of “seen” and find working with a person instead of their diagnosis a more respectful approach to the care I try to offer. That said let’s …
Shyra Shares 3: The Power of Words
Dear Reader, My mother calls me her “word assassin” because I can be rather precise and direct in my words especially when angry. When I think about her saying that it makes sense that I would value precise communication and carry this into my counseling practice. I seek to harness the power of words and …
Shyra Shares 2: What to expect in therapy
Dear Reader, Therapy once was a mysterious process you did without knowing what to expect. As the stigma of therapy diminishes people are talking about it more and we are seeing it depicted in the media. Though this is a positive thing it is time we start talking about what therapy is “really” like. When …
Shyra Shares 1: Introduction
Dear Reader, The past couple of years have been filled with a variety of experiences for not just me but everyone. As we have made our way through a pandemic, I too have had to spend some time thinking about my place in the worldwide and local community. Since September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, …
Day 30 of Self-Reflection: Next
“Getting to know you. Getting to know all about you. Getting to like you.” The King and I So, here we are at the end of our 30 days of self-reflection. I have grown as a result of writing these blogs. Each day as I showed up and thought about my message to you I …
Day 29 of Self-Reflection: Without Comparison
“There is no royal road to the summit…Every struggle is a victory.” Helen Keller Sometimes we can become wrapped up in how we are doing in comparison to others. As we strive to overcome obstacles we can get down on ourselves noting how poorly we are doing. As we compare ourselves to how we think …
Day 28 of Self-Reflection: Science
“Your mind struggles only when you oppose it.” Unknown What we are learning about the brain is growing in leaps and bounds. With scientific advancements we can map which parts of the brain are used for tasks and learn about the affects our thoughts have on our body and spirit. Scientists can use functional Magnetic …
Day 27 of Self-Reflection: Worry
“Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.” Will Rogers There is a difference between worry and preparing despite the two commonly being mixed up. Worry steals precious time and energy by encouraging us to focus on problems that may never manifest. Preparing by brainstorming about what may happen and then …
Day 26 of Self-Reflection: Character
“Happiness is the new rich. Inner peace is the new success. Health is the new wealth. Kindness is the new cool.” Unknown What a wonderful reminder that life is full of richness, success, wealth, and coolness if we cultivate happiness, inner peace, health, and kindness. Life is not about obtaining things or accomplishing tasks but …
Day 25 of Self-Reflection: Gratitude
“If you want to find happiness, find gratitude. “Steve Morobol Science is finding that gratitude can serve as a protective factor preventing one from becoming overwhelmed by life. It helps one remain balanced and open to the good life can hold. The short of it is that gratitude brings hope and allows one to remember …
Day 24 of Self-Reflection: Mistakes
“Do not be afraid of taking risks or making mistakes; but, in being defeated by them.” Daisaku Ikeda The last two blog posts have discussed taking appropriate responsibility for what happens in our lives. I hope you have learned that there are some things that we take part in creating and other things we do …
Day 23 of Self-Reflection: Souls Need Q.T.I.P.
“Q.T.I.P.: Quit Taking It Personally.” 12 Step Slogan This slogan has saved me more times than I wish to admit especially as a young professional. As a counselor clients and their families do get upset and say rude and ugly things and my feelings became hurt from my taking these things very personally. When I …
Day 22 of Self-Reflection: Appropriate Responsibiity
“It is no use to blame the looking glass if your face is awry.” Russian Proverb With each choice we make comes consequences. Despite it being easy to blame circumstances outside ourselves if we are not happy this is not helpful. First, it is not grounded in reality. Usually we have played some part in …
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Day 21 of Self-Reflection: Speech
“Misfortune comes from the mouth and ruins one; but, fortune comes from the heart and makes one worthy of respect.” Nichiren Daishonin Words have immense power calling us to use them very wisely. Whatever we think has the power to influence us even if it is in an unhealthy direction. Whatever we say often manifests …
Day 20 of Self-Reflection: From Within
“If an egg is broken for an outside force life ends. If broken by an inside force life begins. Great things always begin from the inside.” Jim Kwik Force is needed for change. Force as in energy. Making the needed changes to adapt to difficult or even pleasant or wanted events requires a certain amount …
Day 19 of Self-Reflection: Secondary Anxiety
“If you are breathing then there is more right with you than wrong.” Jon Kabat-Zinn Yesterday, I spoke about using your strengths to motivate yourself in a positive way. I spoke about self-acceptance and healthy self-talk. Jon Kabat-Zinn is a pioneer in mindfulness training developing mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) which helps individuals learn to act …
Day 18 of Self-Reflection: Motivation
You aren’t jumping from nowhere to somewhere. You are always somewhere.” Lou Marinoff In the world of science there is a concept called absolute zero. No, this is not a statistics class I promise my professors and family would not allow me to do anything with numbers. Absolute zero is present when the variable can …
Day 17 of Self-Reflection: Self-Freedom
“No man is free who cannot command himself.” Pythagoras We can be restrained by circumstances, beliefs, or people. Thing is we may not know we are restrained until we slow down and think about why we do what we do. Unless we are in life or death danger it is rare that we need to …
Day 16 of Self-Reflection: Awareness of Power
“I am not afraid of storms for I know how to sail my ship.” Louisa May Alcott We are guaranteed storms as part of living right. This does not mean we have to succumb to them. We do not necessarily have to enjoy them either; but, it is easier to weather them when there is …
Day 15 of Self-Reflection: Self-Belief
“If you were able to believe in Santa Clause for eight years, you can believe in yourself for like five minutes.” Unknown Sometimes fiction is easier to believe in than fact. Facts can be difficult to believe especially if they are rare and we are the only one appearing to be acting on them. In …
Day 14 of Self-Reflection: Courage
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says ‘I’ll try again tomorrow’” Mary Anne Radmacher We have been together doing self-reflections for 14 days. So, you are used to humoring me and my experiments. Today let’s begin by having you close your eyes and recall …
Day 13 of Self-Reflection: Risks
“You miss 100% of the balls you never swing at.” Wayne Gretsky Are you someone who easily takes risks and delights in the process of accomplishing new things? To gain success we must take risks, give it our best efforts without being assured that it will work out the way we want. This requires that …
Day 12 of Self-Reflection: Beginners’ Mind
“Don’t be afraid to try something new. Remember amateurs built the Arc. Professionals built the Titanic.” Anonymous In meditation, there is a concept called beginner’s mind. This discusses the freedom true beginners have when learning something. They are so excited and are not confined by all the rules of a field and novel solutions are …
Day 11 of Self-Reflection: Inspiring People
“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more you are a leader.” John Quincy Adams Living our life in such a way that others look at us and are warmed or get hope is an amazing thing. I get hope from so many people who have no idea …
Day 10 of Self-Reflection: Perfection
“I am always doing what I cannot do yet in order to learn how I can do it.” Vincent van Gogh How many times have we heard the old saying practice makes perfect? Well it is very appropriate. In order to learn how to do things we not only have to do them; but, we …
Day 9 of Self-Reflection: Being Aware of Our Needs
“You are far too smart to be the only thing standing in your way.” @healthyfitnessmantra via Instagram What an exhilarating feeling to know the only thing holding me back is me. Wait, that means I must stop blaming people places, and circumstances for the reason why I am not where I want to be. That …
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Day 8 of Self-Reflection: Does self-esteem make you beautiful?
“The moment you accept yourself, you become beautiful.” Osho When I was learning to crotchet I made some of the goofiest looking blankets. The colors didn’t go together, I made up the combinations myself, and I often didn’t count stiches making the rows uneven. I made one blanket into a circle, well more than one, …
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Day 7 of Self-Reflection: Resistance to Success
“The worst enemy of creativity is self-doubt.” Sylvia Plath A truer statement cannot have been written! It holds true about more than creativity. How often have I stood in my own way by questioning my ability despite working hard at something? Many times, we are not sure of ourselves but not due to actual proof. …
Day 6 of Self-Reflection: Meditation
“Half an hour’s meditation is essential except when you are very busy. Then a full hour is needed.” Francis de Sales Life is full of obligations and responsibilities. We all have things to do but the most important thing is taking care of ourselves. It is important to preserve who we are body, mind, and …
Day 5 of Self-Reflection: Adversity
“When it gets dark enough we can see the stars.” Charles A. Beard Everyone experiences adversity. The difference between those of us who are happy and those of us who are not can be found in how we process our adversities. Happy individuals do not pretend that adversity is not present they acknowledge it for …
Day 4 of Self-Reflection: Intuition
“My entire life can be summed up in one sentence: Well that didn’t go as planned.” Anonymous. I know right, who has been reading your journal? Plans are a wonderful idea and can get us started while keeping us focused. Other times a plan needs to be abandoned keep us open to blessings or benefits. …
Day 3 of 31 Days of Self-Reflections Accomplishments
“The mirror of a man’s heart is his actions.” Anonymous Yesterday we discussed mistakes and how they could be used to point out things we need to learn. Accomplishments can do the same thing. Achievements are not simply a job well done; but, also the culmination of actions repeated, plans actualized, and decisions you followed …
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Day 2 of Self Reflection: Mistakes
“You can learn great things from mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them.” Anonymous Mistakes are a part of taking risks and of learning. Being able to learn from a mistake is a part of maturity and growth. You can tell more from how a person handles his or her mistakes than how one handles …
You, Community, and Me Makes Three!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/910194779022356/ This may sound silly but having a stand-alone spirit is easier to do in a group. No one can do life for you but we can do it with you. So, come be a part of Life on Purpose.” A Facebook group where we set our goals and reach them as we improve our …
Day 1 Self-Reflection Challenge: Getting Started
“If you do not define who you are someone else will.” Unknown Self-knowledge is vital for success. Difficulty is this requires slowing down and being aware of each part of us. Sometimes, this means we have to face the shadows we run from by overworking or under-boundary setting. Sometimes, it means we must own the …
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Resilience (Be a rubber ball)
When I say resilient what do you think? I think bounce back. Mental health professionals are trying to agree on what this word means. Some think resilience is a set of characteristics that can be taught to an individual in order to help him or her overcome adversities. Another group think it is a set …
ASD Defined (Austism Spectrum Disorder Defined)
Autism spectrum disorder is a continuum on which an individual is placed when he or she cannot function in social situations to such a degree that daily life is impaired. This condition is usually diagnosed in early childhood (12-24 months of age) but can be diagnosed at any time. Recently I saw an individual who …
All in the Family (Autism Hope and Hurt of Love)
Hello Esteemed Reader, Continuing to celebrate Autism Awareness Month means looking at one of the silent battles won in many homes each and every day. Which is what will happen to children on the autism spectrumwhen they become adults? It is crucial to ensure our children on the spectrum are afforded rich opportunitues to learn …
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Autism Awareness Month
Each therapist has their moments when working side by side with a client where they feel their limits. All the training, classes, consultations and previous experiences do not prepare a therapist for everything. I realized this on a very deep level when treating clients with autism, or who are on the spectrum. When I am …