“Q.T.I.P.: Quit Taking It Personally.” 12 Step Slogan
This slogan has saved me more times than I wish to admit especially as a young professional. As a counselor clients and their families do get upset and say rude and ugly things and my feelings became hurt from my taking these things very personally.
When I realized it was not me people were reacting to but to my message or what I represented I was better able to act in a truly compassionate way. No one who met with me for 50 minutes a week for two weeks knew enough to truly attack my character with the amount of passion some individuals have. They were reacting to their own pain and distress.
Yesterday we spoke about appropriate responsibility and I encouraged you to look at situations for ways to take a healthy amount of responsibility in to make needed change in your life. In the effort of balance, I am going to ask you to look at situations to let go of responsibilities that are not yours.
Sometimes we tell ourselves that we have more power than we actually had. This is done to avoid fear of the uncertainty life brings. It is not helpful because it instills false believes that when acted upon keeps us trapped in cycles of self-destructive behavior.
JOURNAL PROMPTS
1. List three situations where you find yourself reflecting upon in a negative way.
2. Now, list what parts were your responsibility and which parts were not?
3. How are you now going to let go of the parts that are not your responsibility?
GUIDANCE
To become more aware of which parts were not your responsibility ask yourself what you could reasonably control. Then ask yourself what parts you felt were done to negatively affect you as a unique individual or is meant as a personal attack. For example, if someone calls me “fake” that is said only to be hurtful especially if it is yelled or in a vulgar way. Now, take that action and ask whether it makes sense given the context of the situation. If it does not there may be something to not take personally with the goal of letting it go in mind. I do realize this may not be easy, but many worthwhile things are.